Healthy Self-Esteem
by: Dr. Nathaniel Branden
As the world becomes more complex, competitive, challenging, self-esteem is more important than ever.
The shift from a manufacturing-based society to one based on information, and the emergence of a global economy characterized by rapid change have created growing demands on our psychological resources. Recently, the focus of my work has been to show how self-esteem principles and technology can be used to improve performance in the work place.
Self-Esteem Defined
Despite the abundance of books, studies, workshops and committees devoted to the subject of self-esteem, there is little agreement about what it means. Self-esteem has two essential components:
Self-efficacy: Confidence in the ability to cope with life's challenges. Self-efficacy leads to a sense of control over one's life.
Self-respect: Experience oneself as deserving of happiness, achievement and love. Self-respect makes possible a sense of community with others. Self-esteem is a self-reinforcing characteristic. When we have confidence in our ability to think and act effectively, we can persevere when faced with difficult challenges. Result: We succeed more often than we fail. We form more nourishing relationships. We expect more of life and of ourselves.
If we lack confidence, we give up easily, fail more often and aspire to less. Result: We get less of what we want.
What Self-Esteem is Not
Self-esteem is a necessary condition of well being. But it's not the only one. Its presence doesn't make life problem-free. Even people with high self-esteem may experience anxiety, depression or fear when overwhelmed by issues they don't know how to cope with.
I think of self-esteem as the immune system of consciousness. A healthy immune system doesn't guarantee you'll never become ill, but, it does reduce your susceptibility to illness and can improve your odds for a speedy recovery if you do get sick.
The same is true psychologically. Those with strong self-esteem are resilient in the face of life's difficulties.
It's impossible to have too much self-esteem. People who are arrogant or boastful actually show a lack of self-esteem. Those who are truly comfortable with themselves and their achievements take pleasure in being who they are... they don't need to tell the world about it.
Becoming successful, powerful or well liked does not automatically confer good self-esteem. In fact, talented and powerful people who doubt their own core value are usually unable to find joy in their achievements, no matter how great their external success.
Important: Self-esteem has to do with what I think of me, not what anyone else thinks of me.
The highly touted use of affirmations is also ineffective, or at best of marginal value, in raising self-esteem. Telling yourself you're capable and lovable accomplishes little if you are operating irresponsibly in key areas of your life.
Roots of Self-Regard
Genetic inheritance may have a role in a person's self-esteem -- it's conceivable, anyway. Parental upbringing can also play a powerful role.
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Healthy Self-Esteem
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About The Author
Dr. Nathaniel Branden, author of 20 books, including "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" & "The Art of Living Consciously," is a practicing psychotherapist in Los Angeles with a Ph.D. in psychology and a background in philosophy. He also does corporate consulting and offers seminars, workshops, and conferences on the application of self-esteem principles and technology to the problems of modern business.
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